Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Another friend disappears

If you've had a peek into the history of this blog, you may remember that late last year, I went to Germany to visit an old friend, and a few days in, her father died.
She was already contracted to work in Austria shortly after, and after some wrangling decided a change of scenery might do her good. I kept in touch with e-mail and the occasional phone call while she was in Austria, and when she returned to Germany earlier this year. Her new challenge was finding another position as, while she was in Austria, her seasonal German employer bailed on her and hired someone else.
She was always spotty on e-mail so I really hadn't expected anything that way. I had trouble reaching her on the phone, but in the last month or so, I couldn't reach her at all. Finally I left a couple of voicemails expressing that I still wanted to keep in touch and asked what the latest developments were.
Last week I sent her a birthday card for her August birthday.

I do think, however, that she's fallen off the radar, just like so many friends I've had in the past. We are close for a little while, but invariably they were in some sort of crisis and my listening ear and steady shoulder were all they needed. Afterwards, POOF -- they're gone.
It's the story of my life. And it sure makes getting into a long-term relationship with someone really rather tricky.

Sometimes I think this incarnation of my life is all about helping people with non-judgmental empathy (and maybe that's why I'm still at the Vancouver Crisis Centre after 9 years). And maybe why I'm still single. If I actually get into a serious relationship, I don't know if I'd still feel as approachable for my listening ear.

Oy vey.


  1. What? Wow.

    Step 1. Get OFF Craigslist.

    Step 2. DO STUFF where you MEET other people. Put yourself out there. BE SOCIAL.

    Step 3. You will meet someone but you aren't making it easier when your website does not offer an about me section!!!!!

    Step 4. You have to relax about friendships they ebb and flow.

  2. Hmm... I hadn't really thought to use an About Me section on this blog to meet people... I wonder how it'll work out.
    First I'll have to figure out what to say, I guess.