Sunday, July 12, 2015

Stupidly boring ice cream possible at Marble Slab Creamery

Click to add a blog post for Marble Slab Creamery on Zomato Marble Slab Creamery sent me a birthday buy-one-get-one offer, so for the first time ever, I went to a Marble Slab Creamery.
Sadly, my friend was broke so I ended up getting my free cone and buying hers. But anyway...

I deliberately chose NOT to research Marble Slab Creamery before going. All I knew was I would be getting a cone and I could get another for free. Yay.
As usual, I tried to find something weird. There was, sadly, nothing weird. The girl at the counter lamely suggested mango, but I forgive her for that because the weirdest thing was maybe "birthday cake" and it tasted like vanilla.

So I went with lactose-free chocolate. Which is chocolate ice cream where they mix something into it to neutralize the lactose for lactose-intolerant people.
No, it is not dairy free. Vegans, back away slowly.

Next, she asked if I wanted "Medium" or "Large". I totally fell for this sales trick because I forgot they have small. Anyway, "Medium" is somewhere between a tennis ball and a baseball. Also, they weigh it.
Yeah. They weigh it.
It is also over $6.
SIX DOLLARS.
Now I think back to Soft Peaks in Gastown and it actually looks cheap.

Then they smush it apart on a presumably marble slab, ready to receive toppings.
I wasn't sure whether toppings were free so I started by asking her what would go great with it. She recommended Oreos, and maybe pineapple. I went with Oreos, and "a bit of pineapple".
Later I got the bill and it didn't look like I got charged for toppings.
Then I got home and looked up the website and found out I could have gotten a totally fabulously interesting chocolate ice cream weirded out with whatever toppings might have been odd. Or colourful and full of chemicals. Or something -- something other than just chocolate with bits of oreos and the occasional bite of not-very-fresh-tasting pineapple.

Thank you Marble Slab Creamery for wasting my $6 and change on a boring ice cream cone.

Honestly, couldn't their franchisee actually educate customers by promoting what is unique about Marble Slab Creamery -- i.e., unlimited toppings?

Thank you also for making it a BOGO birthday offer, so it didn't sting so badly. Next time, though, I'll just go to McDonalds for their McFlurry.

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